Renovation Pete

Need a renovation but on a budget? Simple. Just call Renovation Pete.

Renovation Pete is an Adonis version of Jamie Durie without the biceps and short stature.

He even has a strategy to renovate the inner west from junkies

“There is only one solution for those people. You put them in a garbage bag, tie it up and drop them in the middle of the harbour.”

A business development manager by day and a renovator by night (or after office hours) – Renovation Pete can be seen project managing all sorts of renovations of (mostly single women) in many a home/apartment in the inner west.

He’ll warn you though – “You may have champagne tastes but darling you got to remember you also have a beer budget”.

At least you know there is no risk of a budget blow out following your well thought of renovations. This aint no Packer sponsored renovation.

Renovation Pete began his career in ‘building’ and yep he’s got the broken finger to prove it. While he moved into another lucrative world – publishing – Renovation Pete remained in contact with his building mates. These contacts have allowed him to still “have his foot in the industry” AND conduct successful small/medium/large scale renovations for those with um er..a budget.

Nothing is too hard for Renovation Pete.

Your bathroom needs an overhaul. Easy. “Mate I’ll just get my Dim Sims (Asians) in to do the work. No worries there.

Walls need plastering? “Yeh I’ve got a Cypriot that can help. He’s very good.”

Renovation Pete can even do you a backyard blitz.

“I’ll just get my Monkey Boys (Islanders) to come in and move your trees. They can even do your paving”.

He’ll even take you shopping. I’m actually in the process of having my bathroom fixed with a new dunny, shower taps and screen. Saturday morning I was off to Hurlstone Park with Renovation Pete in his red monaro. The only tiff we had was the choice of toilet seat. Of course I wanted ceramic. Renovation Pete couldn’t understand why plastic was a problem. “What’s the big deal, all you do is just got to park your arse on the damn thing”.

I got the ceramic seat but had to forgo the Hansgrohe Cromo shower head. Oh well most of the time beer is often better to drink than champagne.