The Newtown Streaker

Letter from a fellow prince

Last week I hung out in my home suburb of Newtown for two days. It was great to discover the area, history and people, and would love to share it with you all.

How to get there? Well, I am not entirely sure because on Friday night I was out in Surry Hills and awoke in my bed on Saturday. I think it must have been the legendary “Newtown Magic Beer Bus” that picked me up and dropped me off in bed. But I am sure there are other buses, taxis, trains and planes and stuff. Check out the website newtownmagicbeerbus.com.au for a timetable.

Saturday Mornings in Newtown: I started my afternoon by visiting the local markets, or “IGA” as it is known in the native “Newtownese”. The variety of produce and tourists can be overwhelming at first, but I did not let that distress me. Possessing a degree in “Shopping Protocol” from the Berlin School of Kurfurstendamn, I was able to apply my knowledge, and put my elbows and ignorance of other people into action. The troublesome thing at local markets is what to buy? So, I made sure I made al list on a tatty piece of paper (highly recommended) – toilet paper, bread, milk and cigarettes… and a tin of mackerals in tomato sauce, for Graham, a local gentleman whom enjoys a fine cask wine or two in the parking lot behind my apartment.

Saturday afternoons in Newtown: After dropping off my bounty from the local markets, I hit King Street, the Kurfestendamn of Newtown. Bustling my way through tourist, Goths, Greenpeace protesters, and people laying on the pavement handing out poetry and asking for spare change, I went tot the “Courthouse Hotel” to watch a traditional game of football invented by very intelligent people in Melbourne called Australian Rules Football. The “Corto”, as it is known in its native Newtownese, is renowned for its fine ales, all of which I can highly recommend! And is also a hangout for locals practising their English.

Saturday Nights in Newtown: You can hire a DVD at either Video World on Wilson Street or Blockbuster on Enmore Road. The prices are basically the same, however the Video World has a pizzeria next door, while the Blockbuster has one of hose horrible fried chicken places. For conversation, my friend Graham, whom lives in the parking lot next door, is always good for a chat. He hangs out at night in front of the IGA, and you can lend him your mobile phone if you like so that he can call his lady friend in Redfern!

For Sunday evenings in Newtown, see above